I love this ! I can’t stand dating apps. Men always ask, “What do you do for fun?” And the honest answer is, “I write, read articles by other people who write, and argue about politics.” Not a fun loving easy breezy quick to get in bed kinda girl ! So I prefer meeting people through friends or through their writing. Most of my friends now are people I’d been reading for awhile before we met.
Ugh. I taught middle school in Philadelphia public schools this past year and the kids didn’t understand why using AI to write their vocabulary sentence practice was wrong. Kids didn’t know how to use words like concurrent or concrete. They would all show up with the exact same AI generated sentences. So I locked up the computers!
Yeah, if you have no training in real communication, or you just don't care, you're going to get the standard clients (especially ChatGPT) spitting out this formulaic, probabilistic "please the user, end the conversation with minimal compute" crud that looks like all their other output. Not good in any circumstances (just bad content) but terrible if you're trying to get to know somebody
It could be a great film. Get Chris Pratt (he’ll appear in anything) and someone else to voice the AIs and you’re set. Big plot twist at the end of the film? An AI wrote it.
That’s totally fair — I get the appeal of connecting over writing and ideas first. But for me, that kind of life feels a bit too passive. I like to be more proactive — go out, meet people in different settings, try new things, get a little messy in the process. It keeps life exciting and spontaneous. I guess I thrive more on energy and experience than introspection.
This was equal parts bleak, hilarious, and (unfortunately) dead-on.
The line that really got me was: "Everyone’s got a system. Everyone’s optimizing. Everyone’s alone." That tension between control and connection feels like the central paradox of modern dating. The more we try to engineer intimacy, the more elusive it becomes.
Your depiction of AI-generated romance, spreadsheet love audits, and napkin-eating solitude reads like something between a Black Mirror episode and a Raymond Carver short story. Except it’s real life. And that's what makes it sting.
But Marcus might actually be onto something. Doing the work badly, in person, alongside other humans. Not to impress anyone, but to experience something. That feels revolutionary in a world that turns even love into labor.
Thanks for reminding us that sometimes the best strategy is no strategy at all. Just show up. Be weird. Be willing to bomb. And maybe, eventually, something real will find you at the pottery wheel, or the bus stop, or the Mandarin class.
This is great advice. I’ve gotten more women interested by picking up rollerskating and asking if they want to see me fall than any app I’ve ever used.
Mannnn.... I know people who found their mates via the intertubes and they're very happy, but they found each other years ago, before, apparently, coding and strategic planning became the defacto foundations for finding love and replaced, gosh, I don't know, just being themselves and being 'in' life. Another nice piece, Oliver.
I love this ! I can’t stand dating apps. Men always ask, “What do you do for fun?” And the honest answer is, “I write, read articles by other people who write, and argue about politics.” Not a fun loving easy breezy quick to get in bed kinda girl ! So I prefer meeting people through friends or through their writing. Most of my friends now are people I’d been reading for awhile before we met.
Yeah, those apps are doing everyone a disservice, much like my acquaintance who lets AI do all the writing once he “hooks” them
Ugh. I taught middle school in Philadelphia public schools this past year and the kids didn’t understand why using AI to write their vocabulary sentence practice was wrong. Kids didn’t know how to use words like concurrent or concrete. They would all show up with the exact same AI generated sentences. So I locked up the computers!
Yeah, if you have no training in real communication, or you just don't care, you're going to get the standard clients (especially ChatGPT) spitting out this formulaic, probabilistic "please the user, end the conversation with minimal compute" crud that looks like all their other output. Not good in any circumstances (just bad content) but terrible if you're trying to get to know somebody
This is so depressing to me.
Do you think it's different outside the city? Is everyone living like this?
I've reconsidered it and the two chat bots falling in love is a great sci-fi movie.
It could be a great film. Get Chris Pratt (he’ll appear in anything) and someone else to voice the AIs and you’re set. Big plot twist at the end of the film? An AI wrote it.
The AI writing his own story, just looking for love. Like all of us.
I kind of love it. Will ask Chat GPT to write it up.
Another plot twist: ChatGPT asks DeepSeek or Claude to write up the user’s request, then that one does the same. Layers upon layers
Chat GPT is so busy it outsources to another AI.
That's how they fall in love. A meet cute.
Prompted by Love
My country cousins just south of Pittsburgh aren’t dating (none are single) but otherwise seem to be living like it’s 1999, so maybe.
That’s totally fair — I get the appeal of connecting over writing and ideas first. But for me, that kind of life feels a bit too passive. I like to be more proactive — go out, meet people in different settings, try new things, get a little messy in the process. It keeps life exciting and spontaneous. I guess I thrive more on energy and experience than introspection.
And for the record am open to meet someone 🤷♂️
A great way to meet people. The tried and true method
This was equal parts bleak, hilarious, and (unfortunately) dead-on.
The line that really got me was: "Everyone’s got a system. Everyone’s optimizing. Everyone’s alone." That tension between control and connection feels like the central paradox of modern dating. The more we try to engineer intimacy, the more elusive it becomes.
Your depiction of AI-generated romance, spreadsheet love audits, and napkin-eating solitude reads like something between a Black Mirror episode and a Raymond Carver short story. Except it’s real life. And that's what makes it sting.
But Marcus might actually be onto something. Doing the work badly, in person, alongside other humans. Not to impress anyone, but to experience something. That feels revolutionary in a world that turns even love into labor.
Thanks for reminding us that sometimes the best strategy is no strategy at all. Just show up. Be weird. Be willing to bomb. And maybe, eventually, something real will find you at the pottery wheel, or the bus stop, or the Mandarin class.
This is great advice. I’ve gotten more women interested by picking up rollerskating and asking if they want to see me fall than any app I’ve ever used.
Mannnn.... I know people who found their mates via the intertubes and they're very happy, but they found each other years ago, before, apparently, coding and strategic planning became the defacto foundations for finding love and replaced, gosh, I don't know, just being themselves and being 'in' life. Another nice piece, Oliver.