Time to spill a little tea, sis. Unless you’re getting paid to comment on the juicing and hot-taking, you're wasting your precious time on the latest political drama. It's all just a circus, designed to keep you distracted while your wallet gets lighter and your brain turns to mush.
You think knowing every detail of the latest presidential gaffe or scandal is going to improve your life? Newsflash: it won't. All those hours you spend glued to cable news or arguing politics whilst goon-handing (GH’ing) and post-handing (PH’ing) in your X groupchat could be spent actually doing something useful.1
Here's a radical idea: stop caring so much about interchangeable politicians, celebrities, and other so-called "great men and women" who wear blue suits and are competing for the privilege of distributing missiles to Israel and making BlackRock bigwig Larry Fink their Secretary of the Treasury.2 They don't care about you. Your adoration isn't going to make them notice you or improve your life one bit. It's just brain rot.
Instead of worrying about which Boomer bozo is in the White House, focus on the basics. Buy real estate at the lowest interest rate the banks will quote you. Save 25-30% of every paycheck if you can. Live below your means and try to get as much as you can for free.3 Invest in low-cost index funds. Learn a valuable skill. Start a side business. These are the things that will actually improve your financial situation.
If life goes on as usual, following those basic principles will set you up for a comfortable future. And if everything goes to hell? Well, all that materiel stockpiled by paranoid preppers4 won't save you anyway.5 There are nearly 400 million privately owned firearms in the US — more than most of the world's militaries combined. Fat lot of good that'll do if society truly collapses.
Remember Donald Rumsfeld's "unknown unknowns"? They're unknown for a reason. You can't prevent them or prepare for them. Obsessing over potential catastrophes is about as useful as killing yourself to steal a march on your eventual death. It's pointless.
Let's look at recent events. In the last month we've had disastrous presidential debates, assassination attempts, and more political twists and turns than a soap opera. The media would have you believe this is all terribly important and world-changing.
But step back for a second. How much has any of this actually impacted your day-to-day life? Unless you "do the work" of politics, probably not at all. The economic impact of most political events is slow-moving and often counterintuitive unless some left or right-wing activist has decided to get you fired from your job.6
Remember when economists were certain a Trump victory would tank the stock market and trigger a global recession? Or when pundits swore that Bush I, Clinton, Bush II, and Obama presidencies would destroy the economy? How'd those predictions work out?7
The reality is, short-term political volatility rarely has much impact on long-term economic trends. Presidents like to take credit for good economies and blame others for bad ones, but the truth is they have far less control than they pretend.
For an election to truly shape the economic cycle, you need major legislation, not just a change in officeholders. Areas like tariffs are under presidential discretion, but even those take time to impact the broader economy.
Let's say you're trying to decide whether to buy a house. You might think knowing who wins in November would help you predict mortgage rates. But it's not that simple. Future rates will depend on countless factors — fiscal policy, Fed appointments, immigration policy, global economic conditions, and on and on. Anyone who claims to know for sure is full of it.
There are just too many moving pieces in a $28 trillion economy for any one election to have a predictable, immediate impact. If you think you know exactly how a certain candidate winning will affect your personal finances, you're probably letting your fast-twitch political biases cloud your judgment.
Here's the truth: for most people, who sits in the Oval Office matters far less than the (often hastily-made and usually dumb) choices you make in your own life. Forget about trying to game out political scenarios. Focus on getting yours before you get got (we’re all getting got).
Max out your 401(k). Build emergency savings. Learn a trade or develop marketable skills. Network and build relationships. Start a business. These things will have a far bigger impact on your financial future than any election.
And for God's sake, unless it’s part of your side hustle, stop wasting so much mental energy on celebrity gossip and "needle-moving" political outrage. It's all designed by completely amoral marketers to keep you angry, afraid, and glued to screens instead of actually improving your life.
Next time you're tempted to spend an hour arguing about politics online, use that time to learn a new skill instead. Read a book on the Uniform Commercial Code or the Federal Rules of Evidence. Call an old friend — or better still, call an old enemy and squash your beef. Go for a walk. Do literally anything more productive than letting Ron Popeil-grade talking-head juicers rot your brain.
Look, I get it. Politics can feel important. Voting is a civic duty. Being informed is better than the alternative. But there's a difference between staying reasonably up to date and letting the 24/7 news cycle consume your life.
Most of what passes for "news" these days is just speculation and manufactured controversy.8 It's empty calories for your brain. The more you consume, the dumber you get.
Instead of obsessing over every little political development, zoom out. Look at long-term trends. Focus on timeless principles of wealth-building that work regardless of who's in office.
Save aggressively. Live below your means. Invest for the long-term. Continuously educate yourself. Build valuable relationships. Create multiple income streams. These things will serve you well whether we have President X or President Y.
And if you really want to make a difference politically? Get involved locally. Join a school board and go viral for arguing with other parents about some trending topic. Run for local office and exploit all the free labor from friends and family willing to "do the work" of getting you elected. You'll have far more impact there than by rage-tweeting about the race for the White House.
Look, I'm not saying completely ignore national politics. Vote for whichever party is giving you the better deal. Research the issues that matter to you. But don't let it consume you. Your mental energy is finite. Use it wisely.
At the end of the day, your personal choices matter far more than any election. No politician is going to save you. No law is going to suddenly make you rich.9 It's on you to build the life you want.
So snap out of it. Shut off the news. Delete your social media apps. Read a book about some topic that intrigues you and is guaranteed to bore everyone else to tears. Do something — anything — more productive than letting the political outrage machine turn your brain into a bowl of Jell-O.
The world will keep on spinning regardless of who wins the next election. Your financial future depends far more on the habits you cultivate and daily choices you make. So forget the circus and focus on what actually matters. Your future self — now much closer to tomb than womb — will thank you.
e.g., getting your hemorrhoids under control. Don’t believe me? Try it! And while you’re at it, buy this great cushion.
Speaking of, I’m working on a James Traficant biography. Any long-time, loaded follower want to make a gift of this now-rare book to me?
As my father would say, no matter how paranoid you are, you’re never paranoid enough.
It might buy you a couple extra months of immiserated existence, though.
Often, this occurs when you get a little too twitterbrained and say something wild on main, whereupon anything can (and likely will) happen. Be careful!
You know what? They did and they didn’t. The economy is always already being destroyed, we’ve been in not just a good but a great depression since 1783, &c. It was over long before it started. Game, set, match.
Always has been.
The state can certainly go the extra mile to impoverish its enemies, though. Just ask the aforementioned James Traficant. Many such cases.